Love is like symbolic illogic

In 1981, noted singer/musician/social commentator Donnie Iris, after opining on the unreliability of large segments of society (teachers, preachers, doctors, lawyers, politicians, paycheck providers, et. al.), followed this up with the following syllogism:

Love can rock you.
Never stop you.
Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah.
Love is like… a rock.

Let’s set aside the tenuous relationship between this argument and reliability for the moment, and deconstruct the logic here, shall we?

We start off with the statement, “Love can rock you.” I can go along with that in a metaphorical sense. Strong emotion is entirely capable of upsetting your core values. But can a rock?

Things that can rock you:
– a cradle
– the ocean
– love (for the sake of argument)

Things that can fall on you, or hit you in the head, or serve as a platform from which you can fall and hurt yourself, but not per se “rock you”:
– a rock

OK, this isn’t starting off well. Let’s move on to the next line — “Never stop you.” Assuming he means that love can never stop you, I’m not sure the premise is valid. Love can stop you from moving to Fairbanks, Alaska, or marrying to seal a political alliance, or taking drugs. Admittedly, there is the chance that love might cause you to move to Fairbanks, Alaska (the other two are more unlikely), but it would have to be a heckuva lot of love.

However, the question on the table is: can a rock ever stop you?

Yes. I offer the following examples of people stopped by rocks:
– Goliath
– that guy in the movie “127 Hours”
– the Gorn from “Arena”
– Wile E. Coyote (on numerous occasions)

Moving on…

“Ah ah ah ah.” Point taken. But it doesn’t bolster your argument to repeat it 4 times in a row.

Therefore, “Love is like a rock.” No, it isn’t. Not even close. Moreover, why would you want it to be?

It appears you can’t rely on Donnie’s logic, either. Sir Bedivere made a more convincing argument at the witch trial.

(Disclaimer: Love is also not like Iraq. The proof of this is left for the student.)

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