While I was out this morning, I heard a song I hadn’t heard in years: “Run Runaway” by Slade. I loved this song. It’s high energy and upbeat, at least if you listen to the music. As always when I write about music, the lyrics tell a slightly different story.
You can tell a lot about a man by what he fears. Some people fear death. Some fear crowds, or spiders, or clowns. I myself get the willies from evil dolls (Chucky, Talking Tina, that weird Zuni doll from Trilogy of Terror). I’m also afraid of what you can tell about me from my fear of evil dolls.
But, as they say, sometimes discretion is the better part of valor. For example, if the occupants of a French castle are throwing cows at you, it is acceptable to run away.
Which brings us to Slade, which offers a curious amalgam of objects and events from which one should depart with haste:
- people who share a common appreciation for black and white (Disclaimer: If you happen to meet the strange shape-shifter from the Michael Jackson video “Black and White”, a certain amount of wariness is acceptable.)
- the generally pleasing nature of a chameleon sunning itself (Disclaimer: Chameleons are notorious yes-lizards, which some people may find off-putting.)
- being “in the swing” (Disclaimer: I’m not sure what exactly this means, but if you’re ON the swing, put your feet down and stand up. You’ll feel better.)
- crushes (Note: Beware the subtlety of this warning. If YOU have a crush, the proper response is to not beat around the bush. If Noddy Holder has a crush, run for your life, even if it’s not a crush on you, just to be safe.)
- being unable to wait for love to be delivered on a plate (Disclaimer: It is unlikely that running away will cause love to arrive sooner.)
The genius of this video is that, even if you aren’t easily alarmed by the same things Noddy is, there’s still a lot to run away from here. Personally, I often feel compelled to run away from:
- rampaging caber tossers with unsteady balance
- having my only escape route blocked by a Scottish bagpipe-and-drum corps shaking their fists at me
- extreme close-ups of the Fourth Doctor (Tom Baker) making weird faces at me
You’ll have to excuse me. That Cabbage Patch Kid has a weird look in his eye…