Approximately 7 billion years ago, a group of early universe dwellers wondered whether they were alone in the early universe.
With much of the universe still undeveloped wilderness, a comprehensive search for life was prohibitively expensive and time consuming. So a decision was made, and a millisecond-long burst of radio waves was sent out into the universe. The signal contained a single simple message:
@Universe: glb plrglh rdowves 4 u #7BillionYrsAgo RT
Scientists, as is their wont, were “stumped” when they received this message 6 years ago. But this week, scientists in Australia have determined that four more of these signals have been received. The new signals, which appear to have been crowd-sourced, include a request for assistance transferring funds out of a bank in the M33 galaxy, an offer to buy cheap drugs outside the Milky Way, a retweet of the original message, and a request to “Like” them on something called “Phlrgbook”.
Discovery of the additional messages has cleared up a lot of the earlier confusion. Scientists from the International Consortium of Non Sequiturs and Faulty Logic (FLINCS) have reported the following conclusions from their study:
– “Some people actually suspected the Lorimer burst was an atmospheric event. But this proves that these are all natural (sic) phenomenon.”
– “We think they’re probably caused (sic) an explosive event, because we haven’t seen them repeat.”
(Disclaimer: The same event happening five times apparently does not constitute scientific repetition.)
The twin announcements that atmospheric events are not natural and that explosions don’t repeat sent a shockwave through the scientific community. However, the shockwave was determined to be of unnatural origin, and is not expected to repeat.
(Click on the picture to read the original article.)