Paleo-cruelty

Paleo-cruelty

In paleo-rhinoplasty news, paleontologists in Utah have deployed childish insults in pursuit of science and knowledge.

The dinosaur, which was found in southern Utah, has been named Nasutoceratops, Latin for “big-nose horned face”. Scientists guess that the reptile has been extinct for 76 million years, which is the sort of provocation that invites name-calling and taunting from the scientific community.

In a phone interview, a spokesman from the Denver Museum of Nature and Science disparaged the fossil remains. “This animal is bizarre. It takes horns to another level.” The science is still unsettled regarding the number of horn levels.

He later commented that “the impressive rack may be tied to attracting mates”. Asked for clarification, he indicated that he wasn’t talking to the interviewer, and apologized for being distracted.  He then requested retroactive anonymity because his wife might read this.

The name Nasutoceratops was chosen after peer reviews by the British journal Proceedings of the Royal Society rejected the original name, “big stinky stupid-face” on the grounds that it didn’t translate well into Latin.

There are only six known types of dinosaurs, (Tyrannosaurus, Brontosaurus, Triceratops, Stegosaurus, Pterodactyl, and the other one). All known dinosaur remains are from one of these species. The fossil found is from a Triceratops.

Fossil hunters and paleontologists have tried for decades to invent new species of dinosaurs, following a detailed procedure of grabbing two bones, setting them near each other, and hoping the result is named after them. One paleontologist explained, “In most of science, we need quite a few data points to formulate a hypothesis about anything having to do with biology.” He went on, “Dinosaurs are the exception. Science has proven that dinosaurs have no young and no individual traits. If we see something different, it’s definitely a new dinosaur. Stop looking at me like that.”

Scientists who study paleontologists believe that this behavior is a defense mechanism to compensate for the boredom and futility of only having six things to study. Astropsychologists have documented similar results from astronomers since the number of planets was reduced from nine to eight.

(Click the picture to read the original article.)

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