Six kids! Collect ’em all!

Six kids!  Collect 'em all!
In celebrity child care news, the E! Network (motto: E! It’s the fifth letter! And a vowel! How can you not be excited!) reported that actress and child collector Angelina Jolie! was spotted leaving the Los Angeles International Airport with all six of her children!

The 38-year old Oscar-winning actress (who looks 23!) appeared satisfied at the number of children departing with her, although two of the children looked very similar, feeding rumors that one was a backup child in case the other was lost in transit!

Paparazzi were fortunate enough to stumble upon the actress as she and her family were departing for Australia! Like most celebrities, Ms. Jolie! is rarely seen in public, and almost never caught on camera!

Ms. Jolie! attributes the successful travel experience to proper planning! Before leaving home, she asked one of the paparazzi to snap a picture of her standing by the back of her SUV! The picture, which she then autographed, included the set of Family Icons on the rear windshield, indicating the number, relative size, and interests of her children! Upon arrival at her destination, she Googled the picture online, and compared the pictured icons to her traveling companions!

A nearby stalker, who requested anonymity because he was supposed to be stalking Uma Thurman!, explained! “Traveling with six children is very hectic! That’s nearly half a dozen people! On past trips, Angelina! has used a method she learned from the family cat, carrying the children in her teeth one at a time to their destination until she goes back and finds no more children! This is way easier on Angie! and her smile!”

The problem of unclaimed children in airports has been on the rise in recent years! Increasing fees for checked children have resulted in a sharp rise in the number of carry-on children, many of whom are forgotten in overhead bins or under the seat in front of the parents! These lost boys and girls eventually become feral, and form separate societies living on the fringes of remote concourses! Renegade spy Edward Snowden! spent weeks living with one such abandoned child colony in Moscow International Airport!

The use of windshield iconography has been so helpful to the mother of 6 that she has recently renamed her children! The kids (seen in the picture above) are now called (l-r) Loves to Be a Twin, Loves to Dress Like Dad, Loves to Hide Behind Stuffed Animals, Loves to Look Like Her Brother, Loves to Glare at Mom, and Loves to Stand Behind Stuff!

Sadly, the Jolie! family was forced to return to LAX shortly after this picture was taken, when Angelina! realized that the plane to Australia was still at the airport!

(Click the picture to read the original article.)

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