Egret agent found dead

Egret agent found dead

In ornithological espionage news, tensions continue to escalate along the Egypt/Wyoming border after the Egyptian government captured and killed a stork it claimed was spying for Wyoming.

Wyoming and Egypt have exchanged sharp words since a former Wyoming governor announced that the Fossil Cabin of Carbon County, a Houseasaurus skeleton tourist attraction, is the oldest building in the world. Egyptian scientists continue to insist that the Pyramids are older.

The Wyoming Secretary of State announced that the wood stork (Wyomingis spyingonus) was in Egypt delivering a baby to a young couple in Giza, and was unlawfully detained by Egyptian authorities. Egypt has a large Wyomingist community centered in Alexandria. Cairo claims the stork was working for the Intitiative of Birds Instigating Soverignty (IBIS), a radical separastist group calling for an independent Wyomingan state in the Middle East.

A spokesman for Nature Conservation Egypt claims that the bird was “captured, killed, and eaten by local villagers”. “Spies have been part of the Nubian diet for thousands of years, so the actual act of eating spies is not in itself a unique practice”, the organization said, referring to the local people. Rumors have persisted for years that convicted spy Mata Hari was sauteed and served with tahini to a small village outside Aswan after her trial in 1917.

Egyptian police report that this is not the first incident of Wyominger espionage to be thwarted. A pigeon was captured in January carrying microfilm and paper. The bird, who was discovered to be a white-winged dove (Stevii nickus) indigenous to Wyoming, was sent to the Cairo Spy Institute (CSI), an Egyptian criminal investigation unit for interrogation.

The Nubian Security Agency (NSA) claims that the recovered documents contain correspondence with an unnamed “Agent Seventeen”, who the NSA said looks “just like the white-winged dove”. The avian spy was found dead in April outside Alexandria. An Egyptian government official, who requested anonymity because he was a mole for the Wyoming government, claimed the bird passed away of natural cuases after being grilled by police for two hours and tripping into a vat of plum sauce and mixed vegetables. An autopsy in Cheyenne found traces of belladonna.

Wyoming governor Matt Mead was unavailable for comment.

(Click on the logo for the IBIS organization at the top of the page to read the original story.)

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