In canine jurisprudence news, the Netherlands’ Supreme Court ruled this week that it’s OK to make dogs pay taxes. The court’s recent decision to allow the municipality of Sittard-Geleen to tax Netherlandian dogs after issuing tax cuts to other animals has stirred a firestorm of criticism in the multi-named country.
During a recent DogTV interview at a Dutch Kennel Club fundraiser, celebrity spokesdog Scooby-Doo noted that the 41-member court has no non-human members. “Raxation without representation is ryrrany!” he barked to the applauding crowd. A spokesman for the municipality of Sittard-Geleen, responded by saying, “While we respect Mr. Doo’s opinion, and I’m sure he’s a great Dane, this isn’t Denmark!”
Denmark is known for its very liberal animal taxation policies.
One Canine-American tourist (shown above), who requested anonymity because he was pretending to be Canine-Canadian, expressed dismay that his type were being singled out. “How come the government never goes after rich animals like the Beluga whale and the European Mink? It’s always those of us who work like a dog that get the short end of the stick!”
Many Dutch dogs are employed in the service, rescue, and junkyard security industries, but a large number derived the majority of their income from playing poker and posing for velvet paintings.
The Dutch government reports that dog taxes could raise over 50 million euros (17,000 bars of gold-pressed latinum) every year.
One Dutch Smoushond, who asked to remain nameless because the name “Smoushond” is embarassing, was quoted recently on DogTV claiming that the additional tax revenue was secretly being funneled to the Netherlands Primate Revolution (NPR), a separatist group believed responsible for an organized baboon uprising at the Emmen Zoo in August. When asked for evidence to support his claim, the hond curled up into a ball and took a nap.
The mayor of Sittard-Galeen was outraged by the fact the accusation was being reported in the press. “How dare you let that sleeping dog lie in such a fashion!”
A spokesman for the Dutch Kennel Club voiced concerns that the conflict could provoke legislation to downgrade dogs from “man’s best friend” to “man’s erstwhile associate”.
(Click on the tourist at the top to read the original article.)