Torrific security news

Torrific security news

In unearthly news, a deceased actor is changing the face of internet communications.

Tor Johnson has been making it easier and easier to anonymously browse the web. But now, the man who oxymoronically bills himself as “the biggest name in anonymity” is working to make it just as easy to anonymously moan incoherently too.

The app allows the user to translate a personalized message into any of 67 anonymous unintelligible grunts, and includes a 68th bonus message to help the user obtain an optimal amount of sleep.

The instant messenger is still in the early planning stages, but a spokesman for Tor told reporters, “Tor likes to plan 9 steps ahead.” Development will largely involve adding in encryption, making the app send its messages over to Tor, who will strip them of meaning and coherence before passing them on.

The instant messenger may be available on its own or included as part of the Tor Johnson Bundle – an app that allows users to easily enable Tor to rise from the dead and rampage through neighboring towns and villages.

Tor also wants to have the app translated into a number of different languages, including Mutant and Zombie, to make it accessible to a variety of unholy terrors who may be met with violence or persecution for their nefarious activities.

There have been many deceased Swedish wrestlers promising security before – even a messenger that worked Tor over pretty good shortly before his death in 1971. Johnson hopes to have his first step of work completed by the end of March.

(Click on the unearthly Tor Johnson for more info.)

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