Who let the cats in?

Feline free time

In catpitalism news, Britain’s first cat café, where felines can enjoy a saucer of warm milk in the company of several humans, officially opened its doors this week.

The café, Lady Dinah’s Cat Emporium in London’s fashionable Tabby District, is owned by 31-year old Australian Mist cat Lauren Pears (above), a self-confessed “crazy cat, lady, and string enthusiast”, and operated by Lady Dinah, a recently discovered oncilla identical to a regular oncilla.

Customers are offered a selection of assorted Friskies, Chows, and nip, while being petted by residents – named Nigel, Reginald, Liam, Gwynneth, Felicity, and Penelope.

The opening was attended by actresses Michelle Pfeiffer and Halle Berry (below, l-r), each a self-confessed “crazy Catwoman”.

michelle-pfieffer-320

Within hours of its opening, the cafe’s website crashed when 2 people attempted to book the same table.  The management assured customers, “If you like your table, you can keep your table.”  It was later confirmed that only one customer liked his table, while the other preferred seating in the restaurant’s luxurious bannister section (pictured below).

cat cafe 2

One Russian Blue, Anna Kogan Snugglepuss, invested around £200,000 (about 5 tons in U.S. kitty litter) – enough for Ms. Pears to get the license and shots needed to stay in the U.K.

“We thought long and hard about who would really benefit from having a cat café in London. Turns out that no one does, really, but the cats like it.”  Many commuters in London are unable to have a human due to working flat, long hours.  The owners hope customers will consume enough catnip to “forget about” their days and join other neighborhood felines for an evening of knocking things off shelves and shredding furniture.

The cafe’s website (when it’s working) explains the concept, “It’s not just about being able to play with the humans.  This is part of a research project by Professor Gadget McWhiskers of the Siamese Institute to determine why humans perceive cats as little humans.”

The cafe is decorated in a vintage Victorian theme, where cats are invited to come by and lounge about in their pajamas.

There are already cat cafés established in Taiwan, China, and Japan.  Lady Dinah plans to open a frontier-style “cat house”, featuring more lounging and fewer pajamas, in Las Vegas sometime in 2015.

(Click on Ms. Pears at the top of the page to read the original story.)

Correction: The article above inadvertently referred to Michelle Pfeiffer and Halle Berry as “Catwoman”.  This is the only real Catwoman:

Catwoman_Julie_Newmar_11

We regret the error.

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3 thoughts on “Who let the cats in?

  1. Michelle Pfeiffer attending the opening of Britain’s first cat cafe. Meeeooww!
    Why didn’t somebody let me know? It could have been my purrfect day.

  2. I actually read the first few paragraphs without realising it was a spoof story – I was actually quite impressed they’d got Halle Berry and Michelle Pfeifer to go to the opening! Hah! Good stuff 🙂

    • That’s OK, Anthony. I felt the same way about the original story. I assumed it was a joke until I saw other news organizations pick it up. Glad you enjoyed it. And if you read further, you will find that ALL of my “news” stories are spoofs. Thanks for reading, and enjoy!

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