My company, in one of its regular Productivity Aversion Therapy treatments, has decided to move my department from one set of cubicles to another set of identical cubicles approximately 30 feet away on the same floor.
In an example of what passes for kindness in the technology industry, my eight co-workers and I are being allowed to choose our own cubicles in the new area. In an example of what passes for tradition in the technology industry, we will choose our new cubicles in order of seniority within the company, longest to shortest.
My department is staffed by very senior engineers. Though I have been an engineer for 31 years, I have only been with this company for 6 years. Six of my coworkers have more seniority than I do. Two have less.
Yes, I am number seven of nine.
No, I will not be wearing a catsuit. You don’t want to see me in a catsuit.
(Disclaimer: I have a number of friends* who would pay dearly to see me try to fit into a catsuit. To them I say: No. Just…no.)
* There is a strong likelihood that I will soon be auditioning new talent for the role of “replacement friend.”