As I’ve gotten older, I’ve become slightly more nearsighted. The second best thing* about being slightly nearsighted is that it powers my imagination.
As I was sitting at a stop light earlier today, I happened to glance over at a nearby store. The store sells things like home furnishings, flooring, cabinets and the like. I know this because the sign outside the store contains a list of things they sell: “Home Furnishings”, “Flooring”, “Cabinets”, “The Like”, and so on.
At the bottom of this list were the words “Dock of the Bay”. I have no idea why. Perhaps “Dock of the Bay” is the kind of purveyor of goods and/or services that everyone else knows simply by name. Maybe all across North Carolina, women are bragging to their friends about the quality of their relationships by announcing, “He went to Dock of the Bay!”
I don’t know. All I know is that when I glanced up at the sign, I saw the words “Duck of the Day”. And now, all I hear is Otis Redding singing, “Sittin’ on the duck of the day, watching the tide… ow! Quit biting me!”
Disclaimer: According to the University of York, UK, today’s “Duck of the Day” (pictured above) is in fact a graylag goose. This shows conclusively that we have more biodiversity than we can handle. Or perhaps not enough ducks.
* The best thing about nearsightedness is that the soft focus makes everyone look better in the exact same way that HDTV doesn’t. As a result, without my glasses all women look like they’re 23. If this nearsighteness = beauty progression continues, by the time I’m 65 all women will look like Scarlett Johansson at 23 (below).