Better living through warnings

As I have explained before, warning signs are what separates modern humans from cavemen.  If Neanderthals had spent less time doodling on cave walls and more time putting up signs saying “Warning: Cro-Magnons may be hazardous to your survival!”, actuarial tables show that Neanderthals would be approximately 92% less extinct than they are today.

Fortunately for us, modern humans warn the crap out of each other.  This morning, while I was getting my oil changed, I walked down the road to a nearby coffee shop.  (Disclaimer: it was not olde enough to be a shoppe.)  While I was waiting, I glanced up at the menu board and saw a warning in small print at the bottom.  I don’t remember the exact wording, but the gist of the message was this:

Allergen warning: Some of the products here may contain the following allergens: peanuts, tree nuts (which I first read as “tree moss”), wheat, milk, and (wait for it) fish.

Fish. Continue reading

Corrections: Continuity errors

When you watch as much television as I do, you start to notice when the writers or the director miss things between shots or episodes.  The technical term for these oversights is “continuity errors”.

While I have had a spectacular morning today (which you can read about here), I have noticed a surprising number of continuity errors in reality.

1) At IHOP this morning, my waitress (Cori the Zone Bunny — read about her here too) told me that the secret of their sirloin tips was that they were “marinated in Coca-Cola”.  What she meant to say was that they were “marinated and cooked”.  This will be fixed in ADR (additional dialogue recording).

2) At Barnes & Noble, the cover of the latest Justice League of America comic book shows Catwoman as a member.  Catwoman is a villainess (villperson?  person of villainy?), while the Justice League is a loose confederation of heroes.  We will fix this in editing.

3) At Starbucks, the Veranda Blend coffee is described on the label as “blonde”.  Coffee is a brunette, unless you add lots of raspberry syrup, in which case coffee becomes a sultry redhead.  Lemonade is blonde.  We will get the VFX (visual effects) guys to digitally fix the label.

4) Also at Starbucks, my friend Laura indicated that she had been up since 3 o’clock this morning.  This was a typo in the script, and was meant to read “8 o’clock”.  Laura is not to blame.  Again, we will fix this in ADR.

5) Leaving Starbucks, one of the cars in the parking lot had a vanity plate reading “DKTR WHO”.  In the earlier German portion of the morning, the vanity plate read “DKTR WER” (Doctor Who).  In the American morning, the plate should read “DCTR WHO”.  Another touchup for the graphics department.

We regret the errors.