A spooky little sale like you

(Uncharacteristically Appropriate Disclaimer: This post contains graphic references to advertising graphics for actual goods and/or services that exist and may still be available.  I don’t make them.  I don’t use them, and I don’t recommend them.  My role is to mock them.)

Parental Advisory: The following post contains images of cookies, penguins, and deceased popcorn magnates that may be too intense for young bargain hunters.

As Halloween approaches, the stores take a brief break from the 30th week of Ordinary Christmas Shopping Time to roll out all the black and orange decorations that don’t really say “Christmas”.

About a week ago, my brain’s Noticing Subsystem was alerted to a local commercial advertising “Spooky Savings” on some product or another.  I don’t remember what it was, but I vaguely remember that it was some ordinary product, rather than something Halloween-related (costumes, candy, etc.)  What I do remember was the phrase, “Spooky Savings”.

Let’s take a step back.  The term “spooky”, according to some random Internet website, means “eerie, scary; like or befitting a spook”.  Like any sane person, when I think of things that are spooky, my first thoughts are, of course, haunted amusement parks patrolled by dinosaurs (above), and Scooby-Doo (below).

Scoobydoo_Super_Spooky_Double_Storybook_t

So of course, when I searched for the term “spooky savings”, I expected to find things that were eerie, scary, and like or befitting a spook.  (Disclaimer: No, I didn’t.)  This is some of what I found:

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