Mass Transit Atrocities

One of my favorite bands growing up in the 60’s was The Kingston Trio.  (Disclaimer: I was uncool before it was cool to be uncool, and long before it was hip to be square.)  Probably my favorite song was their 1959 hit The M.T.A., because it recounted an age-old tale of man’s struggle against mass transportation that really resonated with a pre-teen John.  Listen to this haunting introduction, and you’ll understand how I was captivated.

These are the times that try men’s souls.  In the course of our nation’s history, the people of Boston have rallied bravely whenever the rights of men have been threatened.  Today, a new crisis has arisen.  The Metropolitan Transit Authority, better known as the M.T.A., is attempting to levy a burdensome tax on the population in the form of a subway fare increase.  Citizens, hear me out!  This could happen to you!

How can you not be moved by this?  Listen to this tale of woe:

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A severe shortage of

When I used to do improv, we had a game we played called “Hesitation”, where we would do a scene, and at random times one player would hesitate (“I need to go to the… ummm…”) and the audience would yell out something random (“Opossum!”) The player then had to justify why he needed to go to the opossum. (To seek advice on how to play dead more convincingly, for example.)

One of my favorite songs is Depeche Mode’s Just Can’t Get Enough. I find the intro note pattern thingy at the beginning (Disclaimer: I’m clearly not a musician.) very catchy. But I find the lyrics even more intriguing, because they speak to the soul’s insatiable need for.

No, I did not forget to finish that last sentence. Continue reading

Escape — while you can

My evening commute is a very contemplative time for me.  Unfortunately, I often waste it contemplating the wrong things.  Today was an example.

As I drove home, my brain was interrupted by the traditional earworm “Escape (The Pina Colada Song)” by Rupert Holmes.  I don’t have the visceral distaste for the song that many experience (and are experiencing right now, no doubt), but I do have the blessing and curse of knowing all the words to the song.  Unfortunately, sometimes that means I think about the words.

Setting aside the obvious problem of their mutual attempted infidelities, consider the following:

1) They both define their mutual relationship primarily in terms of liquids (pina coladas, rain, oceans, champagne, etc.)  Even their mutual appreciation of dunes is primarily driven by the exchange of bodily fluids. Continue reading