In space taxonomy news, controversy has erupted among astronomers who can’t tell a cosmic caterpillar from a tadpole in an interstellar pond. When first discovered in 2003, the object was originally named the Immensely Ravenous Astronomical Squiggle (IRAS) 20324. Further … Continue reading →
Yesterday I turned 52, which means I have an entire deck of cards worth of birthdays. I guess that makes the coming year my Joker year. I feel a strong urge to grow a mustache and paint over it with … Continue reading →
Maybe (chemical symbol: M, or possibly My) is a powerful and versatile element used in the production of theories.
Maybe is one of the elements known to the Greeks of antiquity. Early Greek philosophers believed that the sun was Maybe a flaming chariot.
The first deposits of Maybe in the New World were found near the town of Salem, Massachusetts, where town elders employed it regularly to determine when a woman Maybe considered a witch for combustion purposes.
The human body contains trace amounts of Maybe, which are used primarily in the negotiation of private contracts. The use of Maybe was recognized by the U.S. Supreme Court in the landmark 1952 Bobby v. Mom & Dad ruling, which affirmed that the statement “Eat your spinach and you can have dessert.” is an enforceable contract, but the statement “Clean your room and Maybe we’ll go to the toy store.” is not.
Maybe is in the same chemical family as Whatif (chemical symbol: IF), used in the production of hypotheticals, and Ibet (chemical symbol: IB), a common element found in many wild guesses.
For centuries, Maybe was a part of every scientist’s laboratory. Alchemists often stored Maybe in earthenware vessels, with small gaps along the side to allow air in. Modern storage devices are based on the original design of space alien inventor Caractacus Potts, and are still known colloquially as “crack-pots”.
In modern times, Maybe plays a vital role in the production of scientific and economic theories. The use of numbers and facts in these disciplines makes them extremely fragile when proven wrong. By adding a modicum of Maybe, even ludicrousideascan be perpetuated until long after the author has retired.
One recent growth area for Maybe is in the foreign policy arena, where Maybe is a key component in discussions of weapons of mass destruction (WMDs). Recent examples include:
Maybe we’ll find WMDs.
Maybe he won’t use his WMDs.
Maybe he didn’t use his WMDs.
Maybe we’ll do something about him using his WMDs.
The majority of the nation’s crack-pots are found at the National Maybe Reserve complex in Washington, D.C.
In theory news, a Florida biochemist claimed humans are from Mars after discovering a huge concentration of Maybe in a rock. Dr. Steven Benner was on a “conference” boondoggle in Italy when he announced that Maybe life on Earth originated … Continue reading →
In failure news, the launch of a new Japanese rocket didn’t happen. The Epsilon rocket was set to make its maiden voyage this afternoon, but never got around to it. Officials from the Japan Aerospace Exploration Agency (JAXA), being … Continue reading →
In space espionage news, Japan confirmed reports this week that it has plans to begin spying on planets right here in our own solar system. Plans are underway to launch a Japanese spy satellite called SPRINT-A (Spy Probe Ready for … Continue reading →
The study, released by the American Society for Googling Stuff (ASGS), indicates that the potassium found in ordinary bananas has isotopes, and “some fraction” of them emit a positron when they decay.
The positron (from the Latin for “positive particle”) is one of the three fundamental building blocks (or “trons”) of the universe discovered by the ancient Greeks. The other two are the electron (“democratically chosen particle”) and the megatron (“transforming particle”). Continue reading →
In raising-our-hopes news, NASA has announced that it has designed a new robotic exoskeleton to give astronauts “superhuman strength” on space flights. NASA also announced that their robotic exoskeleton would not give astronauts superhuman strength. One NASA project lead explained. “That’s … Continue reading →
One of the things wrong with modern education is that we are losing the legends and lore of earlier times. I’ve written before about a friend of mine who thinks Dark Side of the Moon might be a book. This … Continue reading →
One of the things wrong with modern education is that we are losing the legends and lore of earlier times. I’ve written before about a friend of mine who thinks Dorian Grey was a character created for The League of … Continue reading →