Fine tree stand dining

The other day I was at Barnes & Noble, and I heard a couple guys in the next aisle mocking one of the books.  This struck me as unusual, because the only places I normally hear mockery in public are in my head and coming out of my mouth.

As I went around the corner, I saw two employees put down a book and go back to whatever they were doing.  Thankful that I didn’t see myself already standing there, I walked over to where they were standing and picked up the book they were looking at.  It was called “The Camping Cookbook”.

Now, I have never been camping in my life.  If you’ve been following along, you know that Mother Nature and I are mortal enemies, and we have a simple “live and let die” policy, where we don’t directly attack each other, but neither of us will lift a finger to help the other.  Camping would be unnecessarily provocative, like firing rockets into a neighbor’s yard.

In the shadow

While I was at Barnes and Noble this morning, I noticed a new book on the shelf in the sci-fi/fantasy section: The Fall of Arthur by J.R.R. Tolkien with his son Christopher Tolkien.  I find this unsettling on two counts:

1) J.R.R. Tolkien died in 1973.  It took him 40 years to write this book.  What else did he have to do for the last 4 decades?

2) On the assumption that Christopher Tolkien did most of the work, it just seems sad that he still got second billing.  That’s going to make for an awkward Thanksgiving dinner, even considering the fact that Dad is going to want brains again instead of turkey.

Disclaimer: I have no opinion on the question of whether Christopher Tolkien is real.

Sports?

Reposted from Facebook:

The other day at B&N, the sports shelf prominently displayed the books Alive and 127 Hours.  My first thought was, “Cannibalism and self-amputation are not sports.”  (I’ve read Alive, and there’s no soccer in it.)  But then I figured it out.  What better way to subtly convey the message, “It’s dangerous outside!  Stay home and read a book!”  Brilliant marketing, Barnes and Noble!