Killer gifts

As I was leaving the grocery store, I walked past the little bank embedded in the front wall.  To give it that homey, “We’re the faceless corporate behemoth that cares!” vibe, sometimes they put out a whiteboard with a handwritten message.

This was the whiteboard message today:

bucketlist

(Author’s note: For those unfamiliar with the terms, a “Christmas list” is a list of all the gifts a child (or adult) wants Santa to bring them.  A “bucket list” a to-do list of all the experiences a person wants to achieve before they “kick the bucket” (i.e. die).  A “Christmas Bucket List”, by extrapolation, is a list of all the things and experiences a person wants have before they die on December 25th.)

I’m still trying to wrap my head around some of these items.  As I write this, today is October 29th.  Christmas is 8 weeks away.  If I found out I had two months to live, here are some of the painful conversations I would have with my friends and loved ones:

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